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john daly Posts: 6449
22/10/2020
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This is probably an old one from Scouse but is well worth repeating.......................................
A man is walking past a Mental Institution when from behind the high wall he hears a loud chanting "Thirteen.Thirteen" intrigued he walks slowly along as the crowds inside get closer and louder "Thirteen, Thirteen" He spies a hole in the wall and puts his eye to it. Someone inside gives his eye a real poke and the crowd carry on running shouting "Fourteen, Fourteen"
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Bob Draper Moderator Posts: 1777
27/10/2020
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One from Grandson again
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Rosemary (Kim) Dimond Posts: 4611
27/10/2020
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Just priceless, Bob !!
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Bob Draper Moderator Posts: 1777
28/10/2020
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another funny
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Rosemary (Kim) Dimond Posts: 4611
28/10/2020
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Another priceless one, Bob, thanks!!
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john daly Posts: 6449
08/11/2020
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I went into Boots chemist and asked the girl behind the counter " i would like a mans deodorant please" she said would you like the ball type? i replied "No thanks it is just for under my arms"
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Anthony Metters Posts: 56
08/11/2020
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Nice one JD.
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john daly Posts: 6449
08/11/2020
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The Christmas pantomime "Jack and the Beanstalk" has been cancelled in the following towns......Bradford....Leeds....Bristol. .Birmingham and Leicester because the promoters think it doubtful that the Giant could "Smell the Blood of an Englishman"
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john daly Posts: 6449
10/11/2020
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A man stood at the bar when his pal walks and say "Your looking very serious" the man says Well i have made a date with a girl i spoke to on line. i am going to her flat just now and am worried what to do if i don't like the look of her. His pal says "This is simple, when she opens the door and you find her repulsive take out your mobile phone and then say "Oh no my Mother has had a fall and i just have to rush over 'cos she is all alone , sorry about this."
The man says that is a brilliant idea and so off he goes. Knocking on the girls flat door she opens it and after they introducing themselves she suddenly pulls out her mobile and says "Oh my Mother has had a fall and i just have to rush over 'cos she is all alone sorry about this"....................
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Bob Draper Moderator Posts: 1777
13/11/2020
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One of grandsons funnies again
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Rosemary (Kim) Dimond Posts: 4611
13/11/2020
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Nice one, Bob !!
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Eric Bray Posts: 14
22/11/2020
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@John Daly - I heard a different version - blah blah - The man says that is a brilliant idea and so off he goes. Knocking on the girls flat door she opens it and after a horrified pause, he says "Hello Mother-in-law!"
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Bob Draper Moderator Posts: 1777
07/02/2021
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Another to make you smile
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Rosemary (Kim) Dimond Posts: 4611
07/02/2021
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Thanks, Bob, nice one!!
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Bob Draper Moderator Posts: 1777
09/03/2021
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Keep fit
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Bob Draper Moderator Posts: 1777
28/03/2021
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Need a pub passport
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Bob Draper Moderator Posts: 1777
05/04/2021
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I said six
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