Rhymes off the cuff
Ding dong hell who dropped the bell Ozzies tale of woe all about his swollen toe. What are you doing in the gym are you trying to get in trim is it cause your bulking up or are you trying for the cup. Is there such a thing as this are you the knew Adonis keep it going raise the sweat if you try you will get there yet. I used to admire Charles Atlas but working out I will pass leave it to Ozzie to have a go could be He!s the next Rambo.
Come on Ron and toe the line these rhyming threads are doing fine never mind the mambo beat or the throbbing in your feet get your belly to the bar as you send your words so far every morning I look them up as I drink my first full cup then I put my brain in gear I will think of something no fear.
At Latin Dance I used to score but I dont do it anymore. The samba beat is far too fast and I find, I cannot last. My Wife just said of my discourse pack it in or I will stop your source. household chores you need to see, when I get home I want my tea. If you dont stop all this prose, your comp, will be where no one goes. I would love to wander free but I cant find where She hid the key. Back to, the latin dance, I am at risk but will take my chance. you can keep the latin side, I will do the Pally Glide. Help, I am a prisoner.
Menage a trois, they say for three, do you also get it free, Me I thought it was vegatable all mixed up like mushy pea. To win a bet He has to score, two million hits, or maybe more. Ive helped out with just one hit, my wife just said you ruddy twit. Petit pois is what your at dont you know much better than that. He will need a number three all I know it wont be me. Thats a relief then say I
I think I read about that game, Menage a Trois I mean. Some people from it gained some fame, Its not mushy peas or cream. I think Ive left it a bit late for me to score at all, Im ageing fast, that is my fate If I tried Id probably stall. I couldnt try to be a hero my knowledge of French is nearly zero. although I always aim quite high this verse would bring tears to a glass eye.
The rhumba dance is my big chance to show just how it goes. You swing your hips and purse your lips and twinkle with your toes. I used to click my fingers. now I click my hips, two times round im on the ground, I think Ive had my chips. Has a lad at rock and rolling it wasnt very fair, there was always one lothario dancing with a pair. Never mind its nice to lounge around and watch traffic going by, But when I mention dancing its met with a long sigh. The days of old when I was bold have surely long gone, Never mind its kind of sad lets get it on.
you two guys are posting at a pace. i cant match you two in this race. but if its dancing your talking then im your one. rock and roll was my forte did loads of that in my young days. still to love to have a go in fact still like to dance in any way. maybe one day well meet and on the dance floor i can prove that you dont both have two left feet.
Total leftie,but now is my chance, Hello Margaret,Ill have the next dance.
This ruddy site can be slow, trying hard, an hour or so. Its so frustrating, drives me mad, why bother with a site so sad. Never mind its off my chest, I will leave it now and have a rest. Maybe later I might get on, the rhyme I had as long since gone. My prospects are good, I have a chance, the lovely Margaret has offered a dance, Eat your heart out Ron from Oz, your history thats because.
Yes its me, on the floor, dancing with more than four. I remember thinking nows my chance, I will show them my travolta dance. Then my Wife was getting shirty, the look She gave was very dirty, Then She had me off the floor, the next I knew I was out the door.
The question asked, and no reply, its not my scene Im far too shy. What a waste I hear you cry, did I kiss my chance goodbye. To dance like that was no mean feat, I should have stayed right in my seat. The wine was flowing thick and fast, and every drink I thought my last. It nearly was, I hear you shout, what a chance you just threw out. Never mind petit poir, that could have been Mange Tout.
New Subject. The old one is closed and gone to bed I am trying to think of another instead. Its not easy to come up trumps, its giving my head enormous thumps. Today I played a round of golf, Off with the brakes for really big stakes. Money, I can here the yelps, Not us, we play for the town hall steps. Ron I used to play at Bridgenorth.
I see you there making a stand A three wood in your hand. You wait your turn to hit the ball and FOUR! you need not call. Cos when your ball lands on the green Your talent wed all have seen. The critics mouths you will have shut when in the hole, your ball you putt.
Maybe I should try some pool, at that game I am pretty cool. To pot the rack is no big deal, taking money is quite a steal. Today is our election day, maybe I will go and have my say. On second thoughts I will stay away, Im off to the course to practise my play. The sun is shining its getting hot, we are lucky for what weve got, I will get off and do my training, best be quick before it starts raining. :
We have had our election day, all the people have had their say. Now why should England tremble, when weve got this great ensemble. There is Wee Willy Winky, He has a little twinky. He is the Deputy Dog, and living high just like a hog. Then we have our Gordon Brown, whose taxes fairly grind us down. Not forgetting Peter Reid. the Police they say have found some weed. Virginia of the NHS there you have a ruddy mess, She claims the best year yet, thats a statement She may regret. Bring on Clark, the one who kept us in the dark, Letting crims loose on our street, appears to be his only feat. Tonies started a brand new shuffle, it will be a right kerfuffle. Same old faces, same old names, they will carry on their crazy games.
What has Prescott got to do to feel the toe of Tonies shoe. He came out quite complete then he took his stately seat. Riding with him was a blonde, of which I hear He is quite fond. I was quite certain He would go, and not be part of the new show. Life gives you a belly kick, this one makes me feel quite sick.
John prescott thinks hes a cut above. But in my humble opinion he has a face only a mother could love. As for anyone in there right mind who wants to snuggle up with him. i cant see what they can want. id prefer to be scrubbed down with VIM. If that silly woman did only know. FR would be the place to go. shed have a choice of good looking men. but what would Wendy and me do then?
He is still in there and still in place, still has that smirk across his face. He has his houses and his Jags, I dont doubt He has his shags. He is being paid for doing nowt, I wonder what its all about. Others have fallen and now forgotten, why not our jolly Johny Rotten. Maybe some day we will find out why, could it be He made Blair cry. After the lasses kiss and tell, poor John has been through hell. He had to confess all to his Wife, I hope she caused a lot of strife. One bit that made me really laugh, was when She visited His gaff, He was behind the door with only a towel on, no more. Heres Johnny.
The Aspidestra Song. Well Im writing in despair cos he is still there in the chair. Its the biggest benefit scrounger in the world. Now it isnt really fair, and its all because of Blair, Its the biggest benefit scrounger in the world. He,s done nowt for me and you, cos He doesnt have a clue, Its the biggest benefit scrounger in the world. I am awful sorry that, He,s still living in His flat. Its the biggest benefit scrounger in the world. Now come on Gordon Brown, its time to put Him down. Its the biggest benefit scrounger in the world. Why is He DPM, when theres nothing He can do. Its the biggest benefit scrounger in the world. He should go to Winklesea, and let us all be free, of the biggest benefit scrounger in the world.
Aint no sunshine wheres it gone, all weve got is skies of gray. Seems the winters hanging on, Its been miserable all the day, Never mind whats going on, it will surely pass away. Although Hes hanging on, people will have their say. I can smell that dinners on, I am very hungry today, If She keeps me hanging on, I think I,ll waste away.
Tell me why, when one will do, Does JGG fill the queue. He may be being devious, I know that He`s got previous.
The last was a ( gaffe ) done for a laugh
Today is the day I cannot play, Thursday is my domestic day. I have to Vac and clean and dust, My commitment my Wife dont trust. When She gets home She inspects, She looks for dust and dead insects. Never mind cos She dont know, why I am always slow. Theres cricket on TV today, I will be able to watch them play. This will our first test Fred Flintoff is above the rest. It could be that we dont win, ah well back to ironing.
Yesterday I had my say, the system wouldnt play. One word I couldnt use, all my words it did abuse. It didnt even rhyme with duck, but all my words it did pluck. I sat here in a state of shock, the word I used rhymes with clock, All that effort, all that strife, just sliced out as with a knife. I have seen chickens in a flock, there gaffer is a great big, cxxx. I was only talking of the swing, and the position the wrists are in. Then a rowlocking came my way, there is a word you cannot say. I am writing with great interest, will this piece pass the test. I am using the greatest care, so my words you can all share. In the system I do not trust, its decisions are unjust. OK then lets be fair, there are some bad words out there.
The Ozzie team is still the best, head and shoulders over the rest. Of Warne I think I have to say, it could just be, He`s had His day. The march of time, He`s getting on, the spinning wheel is nearly done. We will never see the likes of Him, the future now is looking grim. The next series is played in Oz, its looking good, just because. We have a team of new young blood, retaining the ashes is looking good.
Well the Sri Lancans are in the mire, just as long as our bowlers do not tire. Ninety for six weve got them at, they dont seem able to swing the bat. Our latest bowler with an English name, has already made his claim to fame. the second over two on the trot, we are pleased with what weve got. He`s big and strong, and very quick, and bowls a swinger mighty slick. He quickly took his very first blood, watch out you Ozzies for Mahmood.
In Africa they have sick humour, have you heard the latest rumour. On the floor they like to prance, and do the bird flu chicken dance. With flapping arms they do strut, till on the floor they fall,kapput.
The cricket was looking good, odds on for our first blood. But the Lancans are fighting back, their Captains had a damn good crack. Never mind about the fright, they have stopped the match for poor light. If I do this first thing I am quite bright, By afternoon I am getting tight. By late evening its a waste of time, for by then I am past my prime.
Two wickets needed to get things done, their captain scored more than a ton. I am sat here waiting to see them play, dropped catches are on today. Oh well now feel the pain, play suspended because of rain.
From the jaws of victory we snatched a draw our teams catching was very poor. Never mind I hear you grin, you have to take it on the chin. The next test match is held in Brum, no point in being glum, They say that Harmie is coming back, He will add speed to our attack. That young bowler, Mahmood fell away, I doubt that next time He will play, Full of hope I wait to see, You never know they might play me.