"Just Wait 'Til Your Father Gets Home"
I am sure that we all were told that by our Mothers years ago , or something similar when we were kids after misbehaving. I was thinking how all the old expressions, funny or otherwise could be shown here.
My Grandmother always said about someone who was very thin "I have seen more meat on a Butchers pencil." She's wearing her Mothers curtains if she was any loose lacy things. I am sure things like "You'll laugh on the other side of your face my lad" were said and many many more.
Maybe we could have some personal ones..... Ta.
Then there was 'He's a deep little bugger that one - he'll tell yer nowt unless 'e wants yer to know it!' (That was also to me! - Sorry - about me!)
As an aside I don't know why but she used to think I was smaller than her and it wasn't until I was in my forties that I asked her why she still used to say things like that. She said that I WAS smaller until I made her stand back to back with me and asked my Dad to tell her who was taller. She was flabbergasted but I was two and a half inches taller. Makes you wonder doesn't it?
Wash your mouth out with soap......bad language.
Like a Taxi with it's doors open ...... someone with big ears.
Funny how our Parents used to encourage us to walk and talk until we were 3 to 4 years old. from then on it was "Sit down and Shut up"
As much use as an ashtray on a Motorbike OR As much use as a Chocolate fireguard. (Not very good)
My Mother, a Yorkshire Lass used to serve large Yorkshire puddings with gravy before the main meal saying "Them that's eats the most Pudding gets the most meat"... of course later i realised that she was filling us up on Pud so that would leave more meat for our Dad who was a manual worker. She need not have worried as in those days of rationing we would have eaten just about anything.
He had a variation which was 'Use your eighteen pence. (eighteen pence - common sense. Why eighteen pence? - no idea)
Then there was 'You've got a tongue in your head - ask'.
My Mother and most of my aunts would say - usually for no reason when they saw women who they didn't know walk by - 'Hmm! Look at her. I'll bet she's no better than she ought to be'. Never made sense then and it still doesn't exept maybe it was jealousy.
Favourite saying of my mother was to go "All around the Wrekin", before getting to the point of whatever tale we were trying to tell. For anyone not familiar with the West Midlands, The Wrekin is a modest hill near Wellington, Shropshire, but which can be seen from twenty or thirty miles east.
You are correct, It was always Chad with it's "Wot No........" shortages.
I only remember "Kilroy was here"in later years in Karzies etc.
Dad I've got my eye on a new bike
Dad " Well son you keep your eye on it 'cos you won't get your 'rse on it"
If you want to hear the secret of how Yorks Pud. was first made just Google "Stanley Holloway .. Yorkshire Pudding " to hear how an Angel flying over Ilkley Moor came down.
Before we were Married i took the wife to be up to Yorksire for a few day for the first time we had Yorkshire Pud filled with meat and potatoes at lunchtime. she was so impressed that in the evening we were in a pub in York and she decided to have the same again.
Non of that West Country "Faggots and Peas" run of the mill grub for her anymore after that.
Having journeyed across the Pennines into your fair land and sampled the delicious Lancashire Hot pot i have to confess that going into a Pub there my pals and i were greatly confused by having a game of Dominoes and finding that they go up to Double Nine.
I realised that over where you reside in "The Land of The Goatmen" the lifestyle is quite primitive and Dwarf Throwing, eating Tripe etc. is quite common place but when my oppos. and I had been to the Bury Felt Co. we did go into a Boozer and the Doms were indeed up to Double Nine ( Quantity 55 )
The good thing was that in the evening they had acts on stage. both Gracie Field and George Formby were excellent ( They shared Dentures )
A Navy lad I knew would look at a woman and say "She has a face like slapped 'rse", or, "like a sackful of broken spanners"??, or "like a bulldog chewing a wasp"